It’s difficult to trust. I know that as well as anyone. I tend to be wary of just about everyone. I’d just as soon rely on myself than trust someone else.
Knowing that, perhaps you can understand how earthshaking it was for me to find someone I can trust. She and I have been together a couple years now, and we’re even planning on getting married soon. I have learned so much from her about trust, and I’d like to pass some of it on to you.
These principles don’t just apply to romantic relationships. They can enrich all of your interpersonal relationships. You’ll be a lot more comfortable in your everyday life if you learn to trust those in your circle of friends.
It’s okay to be afraid. Trust doesn’t mean you’re never scared. There will still come times when you’re afraid, but you will find a lot of relief from that fear if you choose to give your significant other the benefit of the doubt anyways.
You will also find that you’d be a lot less afraid if you communicate your fear. Your partner can only help you get rid of your fear if you communicate with them.
It’s okay to be vulnerable. There can be some risk involved in choosing to rely on and believe in someone. It can hurt you quite a bit if they betray your trust. This is why many people choose not to trust anyone. It’s considered ‘safer’ to keep your wall up and not let anyone in.
My question is, what kind of a life is that? Sure, it’s less risky, but you never get the joy of having someone you can lean on. It is not wisdom to isolate yourself. It doesn’t make you stronger. You’re simply depriving yourself of something beautiful so that you don’t have to risk losing it.
Be someone who can be trusted. This one is pretty obvious. If you want to be able to trust, you have to start by being trustworthy. Respect earns respect, and trust deserves trust.
For crying out loud, don’t worry so much! I know, I know, it’s not easy to just stop worrying. You do, however, have some measure of control over whether or not you keep thinking about the things that worry you. You choose how it affects you.
This is possibly the most important aspect of trust. Worries and fears will come into your mind. The only reason they stay there is because of that little part of your brain that wonders, “what if it’s right?”. Don’t allow that to happen. Don’t let yourself wonder. Choose to trust and shove any other thoughts out of your mind.
Guys, I know it’s hard. I know it’s scary. But let’s take a risk today. Let’s do something hard. Let’s do something scary, because nothing great has ever been achieved by hiding in the shadows of doubt and fear.
And if we err, we err on the side of trust.
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